There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
