When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
