May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
