Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
